Pass

Ah driving! I love the freedom of an open road and a full gas tank. What I do not particularly like is driving when other cars are anywhere near me as they impede my ability to move quickly. I developed a way of driving that seemed so effective not only at weaving through traffic but it helped keep me satisfied as a defensive driver. 

What I hadn’t thought about was how many people I had mindlessly cut off or unintentionally been rude to. It simply had not crossed my mind! Until recently. I realized that in always trying to get ahead I was growing an angry demon inside of me. The act of putting myself first and someone else second was lowering my vibration and it did not feel right. So I made a resolution:: for one week I will let all cars who are trying to switch lanes to go right in front of me. I will slow down or stop and let them go ahead. 

At first this was difficult. I had to slow down my pace, which goes completely against what I had though my natural tendency was (I really like to go FAST). I had to be more observant of those around me. Hm, so it is not all about me. Noted. After a week of practicing the results were in. My life did not change as drastically as I had fantasized. I thought maybe my heart would burst with love for humanity and selfishness would be reversed, and in a small way these things certainly are true. I think the main change though is really simple. I am letting people pass in front of me. It’s just that simple. In one small way I choose to slow down. Little by little I am showing kindness to others in new ways. I am constantly working on growing as an individual and sometimes the little things make a huge difference and sometimes the little things make an average sized difference. It is still a step in a loving direction. 

So if there is something you want to change in your life, big or small, remember that you don’t need any more satisfaction than having made the change. Sometimes the rewards looks different than what we imagined. It is still worth doing. If you feel called to realign your habits, trust your heart and let love be your guide. ❤️

Message

If I had one message to all people I would say this: you can do whatever you want and you can be whoever you want. If there is anything in this world that you desire. You can have it: it can be yours. All that is required of you is to have faith. All that is required of you is to step out and be and do. Only when we are able to completely fully express ourselves and do what our heart desires, when we are able to walk the path that we choose and create our own destiny then we are able to love ourself fully and completely. There is no room for self judgement. There is no room for fear. The more of the fullness of yourself that you can be the greater your capacity for loving yourself and for loving others. When we recognize that we are all beings connected to the same source capable of the same powers and full of the same divine love then we can value each others self expression. We no longer hold attachment to desired outcomes. We no longer hold attachment to other peoples actions, emotions, choices, or lives. We are able to fully love another being for who they are are, as they are.

It is my aim to every day love myself in my fullest expression. It is my desire to love all beings in their full expression. It is my desire to be filled with divine love in all moments. It is my desire to break unwholesome attachments in all moments. I choose to be strong. I choose to be brave. I am powerful. I am capable. I am love.

 

*Transcript from live recording. Original recording available at Soundcloud

Yule

  
I remember learning about Yule as a child, being particularly interested in the tradition of burning a Yule log. My mother read to me stories of 17th century Europeans burning a massive log in honor of winter solstice and as a symbol of hope and celebration for the return of the sun. 

This year as I center my heart and ponder what this season means to me, the celebration of burning the Yule log strikes a cord. In the midst of the darkest day of the year we find a celebration. I honor the darkness that covers the earth just as I honor the darkness that touches my heart. How perfectly aligned this tradition is with my own personal practice of burning and renewing energy. In the midst of the darkest of days I celebrate life and the return to light. 

The sun holds a special place in my heart, as I am sure is somewhat of a universal sentiment. Still I consider my relationship with the sun to be quite passionate and firey. My love for the sun and its warmth has often led me to believe that on the flip side I disdain the darkness and the cold. In fact I think this has been faulty logic on my part. When I view this season as a time to find warmth in the burning flames of a Yule log, incense, candles, flower, sage, or burning of ones choice I find hope in the light of the flames. I experience the fullness of life in both the light and the dark. 

Hope remains: the sun will return again. The days will become longer. The light will be extended and this I am anticipating with joy. While I am here, in the Yule season, I focus on gratitude for all things. I am grateful for both the light and the dark. I am grateful for the balance that Earth maintains in order to sustain life. I am grateful for the light and the dark that resides in my heart, for in embracing the yin and the yang of experience I am able to fully embrace and love myself. ❤️

Progesterone

This is progesterone. It is different than progestin, its synthetic look alike, and today I am going to explain why that difference is so important to me. Both progesterone and progestin are critical hormones in the ovulation process, if there is no fertilization these hormones kick in and activate the period.

Progesterone has many health benefits that are worth mentioning. Some of the more notable affects are that progesterone is a feel good hormone, it improves sleep, it has antidepressant qualities and is mood enhancing. It keeps the brain healthy and alert and has been known to protect the brain from damage after traumatic brain injury or PTSD. Progesterone is known to have a sedative and hypnotic effect which eases anxiety and facilitates memory. It also can improve fat metabolism and bone formation, especially important for young women.

To summarize these benefits, progesterone is a powerful hormone that does more than regulate a womens monthly cycle, but contributes to mental and emotional stability. Progestin on the other hand does not have these amazing benefits. It merely prevents fertilization by creating hormonal imbalance. If anything the synthetic hormones have negative effects such as leading to higher cases of reproductive cancers. These synthetic hormones are found in more than just the birth control pill but also in tap water and plastic bottles and containers. It is also important to eat a balanced and nutritious diet to maintain healthy hormone levels such as avoiding foods with sugar and salt. Also by eating less meat and incorporating more fiber into the diet will help to maintain balance.

::This chart gives us an idea of the average hormone changes in a monthly cycle. ::
When a women takes birth control two things happen: estrogen is increased and progesterone is decreased (no need to produce it when taking a synthetic). This is a recipe for anxiety. Without progesterone, a constant flow of estrogen can irritate the nervous system creating a feeling of being in a constant state of drive. Estrogen can bring creativity and calm when balanced in a natural state, but when there is an imbalance problems may arise. It is also important to note that synthetic estrogen is four times stronger than naturally produced estrogen.

The passion behind my research lies in my choice to cease taking birth control.  Initially I didn’t know that birth control had any risks, but three years into taking it I realized that I knew it was not healthy and there was no reason to wait to quit. After I stopped taking the pill I began researching what transitioning off can be like when I learned how important progesterone is. As someone who has struggled with anxiety, depression, and PTSD I want all the happy and helpful hormones as possible! I didn’t know that in taking hormonal birth control that I was blocking the natural production of my much needed mood lifter. In my research I learned that right after ovulation is when progesterone levels rise dramatically, a time typically when women say they suffer from PMS. When hormone levels are natural and balanced, women actually have the potential to experience a natural high as a rush of positivity laced hormones enter our system. This is a magical time of our cycle when we can reap the benefits of mature my experiencing lifted moods and more energy and alertness. This is critical! With mood disorders and depression abounding in our society I want to educate uterus owners that taking synthetic hormonal birth control prevents you from ever experiencing the natural highs of progesterone!

Whatever reasons there are to take birth control there are counter points for why our body can naturally take care itself. Part of loving myself included letting my body sync to the natural rhythm of nature. Since quitting birth control I find myself more aware of my body and more in tune with my intuition. With the right awareness, unwanted pregnancy isn’t even a worry in my mind. I have taken back control of my body and it’s systems, and it feels wonderful. 💜
Related Links:

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-9809/how-birth-control-pills-are-causing-your-stress.html

https://m.facebook.com/notes/guy-dasilva-md/progesterone-the-natural-anti-anxiety-and-anti-depressant/325548990827688/

https://womeninbalance.org/resources-research/progesterone-and-the-nervous-systembrain/

http://bedsider.org/features/317-all-about-hormones

2015

  

As many of you know this year has been transformative for me. I have dedicated my time and energy into healing my mind, body and spirit, choosing to make my wellbeing a priority. Some of the more notable actions that I have taken were to participate in a power yoga training, which stretched me literally in so many ways. I learned about my heart, how I can be empathic and intuitive, and how physically I am more powerful than I knew. I learned how to open up and to be vulnerable and honest. I am still to this day integrating as I put what I have learned into practice.

Another huge step for me was confronting my ex Jonathan and telling him to leave me alone and never reach out to me again. I did see him one other time as we ran into each other at a festival. Otherwise he has been completely out of life. I am proud of myself for standing my ground in an area that caused so much anxiety and pain. 

Over the summer I made another life changing decision: to quit all prescription medication including birth control, mood stabilizers, anti depressants and anti anxiety pills. Since allowing my body the chance to purge these chemicals and synthetic hormones my mind and body have felt noticeably more balanced, purer, lighter and more natural. I have also stepped up my diet and have made a few changes to better align with my beliefs. Taking the time to learn recipes that are well rounded nutritionally as well as loving to all beings makes me feel more loved and taken care of, and my body feels better, too. 

Let’s not forget the grand finale of quitting my job! I knew I didn’t want to continue my corporate employment into the new year so I stepped out in faith and gave my two weeks notice. I will no longer spend my days in a warehouse in the cold surrounded by fluorescent lights and working for something that did not align with my heart. It took me a long time to make this decision but now that I have it feels so right. 

Taking these steps of removing toxins whether they be pills or people has given me a greater love and self respect. I see now how taking care of myself is paramount and making myself a priority is empowering. The more empowered I become the more I desire for everyone to feel strong and confident in standing up for what they feel in their heart. It may sound cliche but truly we are the writers of our own story, it is up to us as individuals to create the life we love.

Stay tuned as I will be digging deeper into these topics of victory in upcoming posts. ❤