2015

  

As many of you know this year has been transformative for me. I have dedicated my time and energy into healing my mind, body and spirit, choosing to make my wellbeing a priority. Some of the more notable actions that I have taken were to participate in a power yoga training, which stretched me literally in so many ways. I learned about my heart, how I can be empathic and intuitive, and how physically I am more powerful than I knew. I learned how to open up and to be vulnerable and honest. I am still to this day integrating as I put what I have learned into practice.

Another huge step for me was confronting my ex Jonathan and telling him to leave me alone and never reach out to me again. I did see him one other time as we ran into each other at a festival. Otherwise he has been completely out of life. I am proud of myself for standing my ground in an area that caused so much anxiety and pain. 

Over the summer I made another life changing decision: to quit all prescription medication including birth control, mood stabilizers, anti depressants and anti anxiety pills. Since allowing my body the chance to purge these chemicals and synthetic hormones my mind and body have felt noticeably more balanced, purer, lighter and more natural. I have also stepped up my diet and have made a few changes to better align with my beliefs. Taking the time to learn recipes that are well rounded nutritionally as well as loving to all beings makes me feel more loved and taken care of, and my body feels better, too. 

Let’s not forget the grand finale of quitting my job! I knew I didn’t want to continue my corporate employment into the new year so I stepped out in faith and gave my two weeks notice. I will no longer spend my days in a warehouse in the cold surrounded by fluorescent lights and working for something that did not align with my heart. It took me a long time to make this decision but now that I have it feels so right. 

Taking these steps of removing toxins whether they be pills or people has given me a greater love and self respect. I see now how taking care of myself is paramount and making myself a priority is empowering. The more empowered I become the more I desire for everyone to feel strong and confident in standing up for what they feel in their heart. It may sound cliche but truly we are the writers of our own story, it is up to us as individuals to create the life we love.

Stay tuned as I will be digging deeper into these topics of victory in upcoming posts. ❤ 

Bike

Do you know the feeling of learning to ride a bike? My dad taught me how to ride on two wheels by holding on to the back of the bike seat while I pedaled. Without me knowing when he would let go and I would be riding all on my own. 

This is how my heart feels in this moment: I have the support of hands by my seat but ultimately I am flying and wobbling and rolling all on my own. As if I have wings unlocking from my back and the feathers curl under the waves I make as I fly, this is how empowerment is born. With angels surrounding me and all beings of light guiding with love, both seen and unseen. 

I am restored and made whole in every moment. In every moment I surrender to LOVE. I choose to to be a beacon of hope and of a bright future in all moments. ✨

Fear

This morning I had the strongest urge to quit my job. I wanted to call my boss and kindly tell her that I am stepping down, two weeks from today. 

All the reasons I wanted to make this decision whizzed through my mind, my thought process making it seem like a clear choice. After all, the universe will support whatever I choose and there is no right or wrong choice. My only stipulation is that whatever I choose I follow it with my heart. 

After jazzing myself up with arguments on the side of quitting my job, I decided to see if I could feel into any reasons why perhaps I wouldn’t want to. Only one reason stood standing. One word held me back from my unanimous vote: fear. 

I am afraid! I instantly questioned if fear is a valid reason for avoiding action when all the other odds seem to be in opposing favor. Using sky diving as an analogy I think that fear is the only thing holding me back from jumping out of a plane with a parachute and skilled professionals helping me with the process. My logical mind in all its wonderful facets knows the odds are favorable enough that I don’t fear injury. What I fear is the unknown or perhaps fear itself! 

My questions remains — I cannot get it out of my head. Am I allowing my fear to hold me back in my career? Is my fear a channel for my intuition to slow me down or wait for more favorable timing? I don’t expect to get a clear answer, but I enjoy seeking them nonetheless. 

Perhaps analogies are not needed and just distract me from making a solid decision. The fear of stepping out in faith will always be there, but but but…

It can be difficult to maintain the passion of a moment when all things are constantly changing. I swing from wanting to feel safe to wanting to feel liberated. Ultimately I know that this process I am working through is here to teach me and I am taking full Mercurian advantage of my analysis. There is no big ending point or grand decisive moment to my musings today; I leave this piece having explored myself in a deeper way. 

Ultimately I think that I want to say of myself that fear does not hold me back, but even if it does I know all things work out in perfect timing. Okay now my brain is tired. Bye bye.