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Is Helping Helpful?

I think about other people a lot. Especially those closest to me. I think it is natural that we have collectively learned that wanting to support our loved ones comes from a caring place.

I dug beneath my personal desires to help and have found a similar pattern.

In seeking to connect with someone else I am ultimately looking to fill a desire or need inside of myself. Knowing this, I now ask myself:

“Do I believe that the person I want to help is fully capable of taking care of themselves?

Do I believe that the person I want to help will ask me if they need or want anything from me?”

I believe that I can almost always answer yes to these questions. I believe that everyone has everything they need even if one of their needs is to speak up and ask for help. When someone asks for help the person being asked then has the option to say yes or no. If they say yes then an open flow of giving and receiving has been in initiated.

The more that I focus on myself the more my world seems to blossom, both my inner world and my outer world. When I attune my energy to myself and not to others I find it easier to meet my own needs, and my desires to feel fulfilled by others versus actual needs for support hold greater distinction.

If you would like to join me in turning the questions inward, let’s see how it feels to focus on ourselves:

“Do I believe that I am fully capable of taking care of myself?

Do I believe that I will ask for help if I need or want anything?”

Personally my answer to both questions is YES!

If your answer is less certain, that is okay! Think about these questions as you go throughout your day and focus on where you are giving your power. Is it to someone else, or is it grounded inside of yourself?

To get myself feeling more in my personal power I like to move my body through dancing or singing, and expressing myself through writing or talking.

Rich in Love

I felt my heart open.

This morning I wondered what to do with my time…

And then my heart opened.

It felt like love.

It felt like a waterfall.

It felt like the purpose that I’ve scrambled around to find.

It felt like my best friend.

Sometimes this feeling pops up from a spiritual practice, sometimes a downright childish behavior. I am not ashamed of what brings me joy.

I do not seek protection for there is no thing to fear.

I do not seek guidance for there is no way but the way.

I do not ask for love for I am love.

You Are the Key

I see people asking every day about ways to protect themselves, ways to stay energetically clear, ways to manage their emotions, ways to foster abundance, ways to ground, ways to find purpose and a will to live, and the list goes on.

Regardless of what is going on in one’s life, I know who wants to change and who doesn’t based on their willingness and ability to tap into their own soul.

Yes, I’m talking about meditation.

Sit down for five minutes.

JUST BREATHE

Repeat every day, extending the time if desired.

Now I’m not trying to white wash anyone’s struggle. Life can get pretty maddening and external forces can put a lot of pressure on us.

The one thing you always have, until the day your body passes and the soul transitions, is your body and your breath. This is your source of power.

Sitting, breathing, and feeling your own soul is a key to breakthrough. It is a key to overcoming unhealthy ways of thinking. It is a key to processing trauma and complex emotions. Let me rephrase this, YOU are the key to understanding yourself!

Taking a moment to check in with the deeper parts of ourselves can become a ritual of bliss. If you haven’t gotten there yet, it may be because things start coming up when you start to enter meditation. Listen to your heart and treat yourself like a child who needs help. Go to ceremony, see a therapist, talk to someone you trust and bounce your experiences off them, but remember, no one can save you but yourself. This is a good thing! This means that you have the power to free yourself of the struggles of past beliefs and patterns.

Reset. Take a minute to close your eyes, count your breath, and listen to your heart.💛

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Krista Ray is a holistic therapist assisting others in revealing their empowered selves one session at a time.✨

You Have Been Let Go

Yes. The position is no longer needed at this time…

Worrying about what other people think, take the day off.

Being bothered by other people’s process, you don’t have to think about it anymore.

Letting concerns for how other people feel take up your time and energy, clock out.

It isn’t your job anymore, think about what you can do with all your spare time now! The ease of letting your mind wander, coming up with creative and funny ideas.

You get to enjoy being yourself, doing things that make you happy and shine.

Now you have the energy to notice the beauty of life around you. Nature is singing, slow down and you can hear it.

You might find that since retiring from your old job that your relationships are more fulfilling, and you might even care to listen deeper.

You don’t have to make up a story about anything. Now you get to relax and let your own purpose develop naturally.

Congratulations on your new life!✨

Inclusive Spiritual Speak

In many spiritual communities terms such as sister, brother, goddess and priestess are used frequently among friends and clients.

While some embrace these titles, I ask that you remember the non binary and queer people in your circles. I have chosen a few examples of gender neutral spiritual slang that is safe for all audiences and relationships:

Family

Beloved

Blessed Being

Cosmic Light

Powerful Being

Divine One

Sacred Soul

Love Manifest

Remember to ask (don’t assume) people’s pronouns. Using words that respect someone’s identity is a huge part of loving them.💖

Can You Believe It?

Here I am, raw and unfiltered: I need to tell you something.

I am filled with so much love and joy right now that it’s exploding out of me. I can’t help but look at how far I have come, and how much work and sacrifice I put into building a life that makes my souls sing.

I have so much passion for sharing this joy that often I become overwhelmed with finding the words to share. I am a holistic therapist, it is my job to make the intangible truths not just understandable but practical. I am here to lovingly push people forward into their most empowered selves.

Yet, I know that many of my personal practices seem trivial when there are people struggling to buy food, facing addictions and mental health concerns every day.

Who am I to say anything about abundance when I sit in a seat of privilege.

Sure I have seen my dose of struggle. I’ve been abused, controlled, pushed down literally and figuratively, I’ve been in jail and on psych meds. These experiences don’t define me, but they do empower me.

I refuse to be a victim to anything or anyone. I am my own master, and so I choose the path of least resistance. Don’t misunderstand, there is much battle to be faught in the quest for person power. There is a cost, but with great sacrifice comes great reward.

What greater treasure is there in this life but the unveiling of our true soul. I firmly believe that you, YOU, are stronger than you think and braver than you believe! Stay strong, ask for help, and never give up!

I can’t help everyone, but I can stay strong and continue to grow every day, I can help those around me, I can set an example and I can make a difference.

One of the biggest lessons I learned in the past year is patience and consistency. Whatever it is in your life that you want to change, stay on the course. Results can sometimes take time; growth sometimes feels like failure. Remember that everything is a gift to help you learn and grow.

I know this because somehow even when I didn’t want to live anymore I kept going.

Repeat this mantra throughout the day: I believe in myself.

Why So Much Hate?

I see so much man hate in the queer community. People who claim to be enlightened and psychic verbally attack and assume other people’s gender.

So sorry if a man ever hurt you.

So sorry if a woman ever hurt you.

We are all hurt in some way by the patterns of the past. Racism, sexism, classism and on and on have all hurt us. Misogyny has hurt men and women and people all across the binary spectrum.

The truth is that we all possess an equal balance of male and female. Accepting this about oneself opens up a world where we can accept others.

Me and my partner have been on the receiving end of people judging and assuming because we “look” like a straight cis couple we must be, but we aren’t! Being categorized like this is justification for certain people to throw anger and cruelty toward us. Projecting a life time of story into us when perhaps none of it is true.

I understand why people are angry, but fighting with people who are on your side because you decided to misgender is pretty sad, ignorant, and rude. Just like it would be mean of me to judge someone for looking queer it is also mean to judge someone for looking straight. We are all a human family. Try not to lump a huge group of people together just so you can hate them.

Paganism Roots

I know now that I was always a pagan. The things that I thought were just childish behaviors I see now had a leaning towards nature, spiritually, and quantum physics. Little did I know that paganism goes much, much, MUCH deeper into my identity. Paganism is in my DNA.

I love Yule. There is something about the darkest night that gives me permission to touch parts of myself that I normally wouldn’t, like internal feelings and judgments and psychic patterns. This year I decided to research paganism. I was curious about the pagans of New England as I always felt a strong connection to the witches of Connecticut as that is where my body was birthed.

I knew my roots were there, I just didn’t realize how far back they went. Maybe this was common knowledge to others but I just found out myself that paganism began in Italy.

There is actually a town called Pagani in Campania, which non-ironically I am quite sure I drove past while traveling down the A3 in 2012 when I visited the motherland.

I am pumped!! So here’s the deal. The land that on which Pagani currently resides switched hands and rulership several times during the rise of the Roman Empire. During the Middle Ages around the 9th century a small group of people called the Saracens occupied the land.

Let’s hold up for a second. Saracens is a very old word dating back to the early 5th century. It was a name that Christian writers would use to label Arabs, or those who descended from Abraham’s older son Ishmael. There are some stories as to how and why people started associating with the title Saracens, but the TLDR version is that there were Christians and then there were Saracens: the ati-Christians. Hi, how are ya?

So when the city of Pagani — then Nuceria Paganorum — was founded by the family who’s name was literally Pagan, one might imagine that their surname was a lineage of pagans or Saracens.

So although I can’t in this moment prove that my DNA connects me to the Pagan family, I do know that my ancestors come from a similar area. Intuitively I feel that paganism was just a few generations back before Catholicism and Christianity converted my family to the dark side, but who knows.

Italian pride runs deep. As much as I don’t like over identifying with any one title or nation, the truth remains: I am 75% Italian and my ancestors connect me to the timeless comfort of paganism.

Anyone anywhere at any time can choose to be at peace with who they are, where they are, how they are. On this darkest night I remember the brightest light of all: a soul on fire.✨

Four Element Clearing

When I feel the need to reset I like to remember the four main elements as a way to check in with myself and find my center. This technique can be used by anyone at any time. Especially powerful times are during bleeding or a life shift.

Take four days and focus each day on the elements: one at a time. This practice uses the traditional four as the elements, feel free to incorporate other elements if you wish. Day one the focus is on fire, day two air, day three water, ending on day four with a focus on earth. Another option is to do one of each at any time for a quick balancing.

On each day begin in prayer focusing on the element of the day. Let everything you do drip with love. Choose which practices from the days element you wish you use.

Fire

  • Cook over fire
  • Light candle
  • Burn sage
  • Smoke herbs
  • Burn written intentions

Air

  • Self Reiki
  • Rapé ceremony
  • Draw with charcoal
  • Pranayama
  • Dance

Water

  • Bathe
  • Meditate with shell
  • Make fresh juice
  • Pray at natural waters
  • Collect rainwater and anoint chakras

Earth

  • Meditate with crystals
  • Mud/clay/chocolate face mask
  • Hug a tree
  • Lay on the ground
  • Plant seeds
  • Cut hair

What you sow you will reap. The power of your intentions will be supported by this ritual, so be sure to have strong intentions, a flowing heart, and meditative mind as you move through your practice.

Comment below if you have any other suggestions for elemental clearing.

Magic for the Self

Magic and manifestation have been increasing in popularity, and I have people asking me about how to use their gifts to help themselves and others. When realizing we all have power to create and manipulate reality, I think it’s important to begin with the self.

Burn a candle for self forgiveness.

Write down and let go of beliefs around shame.

Release inner judgments.

Reprogram negative thinking with affirmations.

Have compassion towards your process.

Remind your heart that it is safe to be open and flowing with love.

Use herbs and natural medicine to cleanse and revive the body.

Manifest a decalcified pineal gland.

Release trauma and generational pain by observing your karma.

Use meditation to clear your energetic field.

When you find yourself feeling empowered and abundant then sharing these gifts with others comes naturally.