You Are the Key

I see people asking every day about ways to protect themselves, ways to stay energetically clear, ways to manage their emotions, ways to foster abundance, ways to ground, ways to find purpose and a will to live, and the list goes on.

Regardless of what is going on in one’s life, I know who wants to change and who doesn’t based on their willingness and ability to tap into their own soul.

Yes, I’m talking about meditation.

Sit down for five minutes.

JUST BREATHE

Repeat every day, extending the time if desired.

Now I’m not trying to white wash anyone’s struggle. Life can get pretty maddening and external forces can put a lot of pressure on us.

The one thing you always have, until the day your body passes and the soul transitions, is your body and your breath. This is your source of power.

Sitting, breathing, and feeling your own soul is a key to breakthrough. It is a key to overcoming unhealthy ways of thinking. It is a key to processing trauma and complex emotions. Let me rephrase this, YOU are the key to understanding yourself!

Taking a moment to check in with the deeper parts of ourselves can become a ritual of bliss. If you haven’t gotten there yet, it may be because things start coming up when you start to enter meditation. Listen to your heart and treat yourself like a child who needs help. Go to ceremony, see a therapist, talk to someone you trust and bounce your experiences off them, but remember, no one can save you but yourself. This is a good thing! This means that you have the power to free yourself of the struggles of past beliefs and patterns.

Reset. Take a minute to close your eyes, count your breath, and listen to your heart.💛

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Krista Ray is a holistic therapist assisting others in revealing their empowered selves one session at a time.✨

You Have Been Let Go

Yes. The position is no longer needed at this time…

Worrying about what other people think, take the day off.

Being bothered by other people’s process, you don’t have to think about it anymore.

Letting concerns for how other people feel take up your time and energy, clock out.

It isn’t your job anymore, think about what you can do with all your spare time now! The ease of letting your mind wander, coming up with creative and funny ideas.

You get to enjoy being yourself, doing things that make you happy and shine.

Now you have the energy to notice the beauty of life around you. Nature is singing, slow down and you can hear it.

You might find that since retiring from your old job that your relationships are more fulfilling, and you might even care to listen deeper.

You don’t have to make up a story about anything. Now you get to relax and let your own purpose develop naturally.

Congratulations on your new life!✨

Inclusive Spiritual Speak

In many spiritual communities terms such as sister, brother, goddess and priestess are used frequently among friends and clients.

While some embrace these titles, I ask that you remember the non binary and queer people in your circles. I have chosen a few examples of gender neutral spiritual slang that is safe for all audiences and relationships:

Family

Beloved

Blessed Being

Cosmic Light

Powerful Being

Divine One

Sacred Soul

Love Manifest

Remember to ask (don’t assume) people’s pronouns. Using words that respect someone’s identity is a huge part of loving them.💖

Can You Believe It?

Here I am, raw and unfiltered: I need to tell you something.

I am filled with so much love and joy right now that it’s exploding out of me. I can’t help but look at how far I have come, and how much work and sacrifice I put into building a life that makes my souls sing.

I have so much passion for sharing this joy that often I become overwhelmed with finding the words to share. I am a holistic therapist, it is my job to make the intangible truths not just understandable but practical. I am here to lovingly push people forward into their most empowered selves.

Yet, I know that many of my personal practices seem trivial when there are people struggling to buy food, facing addictions and mental health concerns every day.

Who am I to say anything about abundance when I sit in a seat of privilege.

Sure I have seen my dose of struggle. I’ve been abused, controlled, pushed down literally and figuratively, I’ve been in jail and on psych meds. These experiences don’t define me, but they do empower me.

I refuse to be a victim to anything or anyone. I am my own master, and so I choose the path of least resistance. Don’t misunderstand, there is much battle to be faught in the quest for person power. There is a cost, but with great sacrifice comes great reward.

What greater treasure is there in this life but the unveiling of our true soul. I firmly believe that you, YOU, are stronger than you think and braver than you believe! Stay strong, ask for help, and never give up!

I can’t help everyone, but I can stay strong and continue to grow every day, I can help those around me, I can set an example and I can make a difference.

One of the biggest lessons I learned in the past year is patience and consistency. Whatever it is in your life that you want to change, stay on the course. Results can sometimes take time; growth sometimes feels like failure. Remember that everything is a gift to help you learn and grow.

I know this because somehow even when I didn’t want to live anymore I kept going.

Repeat this mantra throughout the day: I believe in myself.

Why So Much Hate?

I see so much man hate in the queer community. People who claim to be enlightened and psychic verbally attack and assume other people’s gender.

So sorry if a man ever hurt you.

So sorry if a woman ever hurt you.

We are all hurt in some way by the patterns of the past. Racism, sexism, classism and on and on have all hurt us. Misogyny has hurt men and women and people all across the binary spectrum.

The truth is that we all possess an equal balance of male and female. Accepting this about oneself opens up a world where we can accept others.

Me and my partner have been on the receiving end of people judging and assuming because we “look” like a straight cis couple we must be, but we aren’t! Being categorized like this is justification for certain people to throw anger and cruelty toward us. Projecting a life time of story into us when perhaps none of it is true.

I understand why people are angry, but fighting with people who are on your side because you decided to misgender is pretty sad, ignorant, and rude. Just like it would be mean of me to judge someone for looking queer it is also mean to judge someone for looking straight. We are all a human family. Try not to lump a huge group of people together just so you can hate them.

Four Element Clearing

When I feel the need to reset I like to remember the four main elements as a way to check in with myself and find my center. This technique can be used by anyone at any time. Especially powerful times are during bleeding or a life shift.

Take four days and focus each day on the elements: one at a time. This practice uses the traditional four as the elements, feel free to incorporate other elements if you wish. Day one the focus is on fire, day two air, day three water, ending on day four with a focus on earth. Another option is to do one of each at any time for a quick balancing.

On each day begin in prayer focusing on the element of the day. Let everything you do drip with love. Choose which practices from the days element you wish you use.

Fire

  • Cook over fire
  • Light candle
  • Burn sage
  • Smoke herbs
  • Burn written intentions

Air

  • Self Reiki
  • Rapé ceremony
  • Draw with charcoal
  • Pranayama
  • Dance

Water

  • Bathe
  • Meditate with shell
  • Make fresh juice
  • Pray at natural waters
  • Collect rainwater and anoint chakras

Earth

  • Meditate with crystals
  • Mud/clay/chocolate face mask
  • Hug a tree
  • Lay on the ground
  • Plant seeds
  • Cut hair

What you sow you will reap. The power of your intentions will be supported by this ritual, so be sure to have strong intentions, a flowing heart, and meditative mind as you move through your practice.

Comment below if you have any other suggestions for elemental clearing.

Magic for the Self

Magic and manifestation have been increasing in popularity, and I have people asking me about how to use their gifts to help themselves and others. When realizing we all have power to create and manipulate reality, I think it’s important to begin with the self.

Burn a candle for self forgiveness.

Write down and let go of beliefs around shame.

Release inner judgments.

Reprogram negative thinking with affirmations.

Have compassion towards your process.

Remind your heart that it is safe to be open and flowing with love.

Use herbs and natural medicine to cleanse and revive the body.

Manifest a decalcified pineal gland.

Release trauma and generational pain by observing your karma.

Use meditation to clear your energetic field.

When you find yourself feeling empowered and abundant then sharing these gifts with others comes naturally.

How To Use The Block Button

“Never unblock!”

My words were passionate, a bit emotional, and sharp like a whip. My partner took a deep breath to hold space for my wisdom. They had been facing the repercussions of seeing a person from their past online and thus opening up triggers that were better left healed in their natural timing and not because of social media.

A year later — long after I had forgotten the advice I spewed — my partner reminded me how powerful those two words were in creating boundaries not just in their relationships but in their heart. They shared how blocking this person created a safe container for healing and allowed them the freedom to face their pain and overcome it in their own power.

Blocking is a powerful little button that can make a world of difference in ones daily life and overall happiness, peace, and sense of safety. I am going to share some misconceptions and tips for blocking and how I have taken my power back with the block button.

“Is blocking mean?”

One of the first fears and misconceptions that comes up for me when choosing wether to block someone or not is the potential of the block being a hurtful act. When I am in this state I typically am putting too much attention on the other person and not enough attention on myself. There are ways to gently and respectfully block someone, but first I have to check myself. I take a deep breath and a moment to observe my gut and how I really feel.

Would I feel happier, safer, more at peace if this person was no longer in my social media world? Do I want to block this person assuming there were no hurt feelings and I could simply know that my online life is now private from this person? How do I think it would feel to know this person can’t contact me or comment on my posts through this outlet?

Recently I asked myself these questions in a situation where I went back and forth several times. I was so worried about making such a hard line in the sand, and these feelings were intensified knowing the sensitivity of the person I was dealing with. At the end of the day, having a technological connection to this person was wearing me down and bringing far too much stress and drama into my otherwise happy go lucky life. After much thought I realized that I absolutely must put myself first in this situation. Was there potential for the other person to be hurt? Yes, but I was being hurt by my inaction and in blocking them I was protecting myself from pain and attack. Blocking was the kindest thing I could do for myself!

Social Media vs Reality

I feel it is important to take a step back and clarify the difference between online and real life. Yes the internet is real and the interactions we have are often authentic, but at anytime we can put our phone down, close our laptop, log out, delete the app, and our lives go on! I think it is important to step away from technology on a regular basis to clear the mind and remember what we love about this life. The experiences we have online can often consume us but there is so much more life to live that uses all five — even six — senses. When I step away from the internet and the drama I remember how silly it all is, and blocking someone seems even less abrasive. I think to myself, “So I blocked someone, big deal. Life goes on!” Often I have taken long breaks from social media and have deleted my accounts, these cleanses have been wonderful but I came back because I wanted to have the option of connecting with new friends through social media and sharing experiences with long distance family and staying updated on local events. Social media is a tool and a gift and I wanted it to stay sweet. When someone infiltrated that peace, I had to block them and move on. Any uncomfortably that I felt around blocking them can be easily comforted by spending time in the garden, focusing on a work project, or spending time with friend who make me feel valued and trusted.

How to Block With Grace

The decision had been made: a block was necessary. In my recent example I needed a social media cleanse of this person on every platform. Every situation is different, and often a swift click of the block button is perfectly appropriate. When blocking a friend, an ex, a family member, or anyone who you feel like showing particular respect to, I recommend sending them a message explaining the block. Let me clarify, this is not necessary! This is an act of kindness only needed if you personally feel on a situational basis that a farewell message will ease any discomfort or in-person interactions. If you plan on blocking someone from every aspect of your life and never want to see them again, this step may not be for you.

In my case, I wanted to create a boundary for myself on the internet but would be okay with seeing this person in social settings, so I wrote out a message explaining what was happening and why and then I sent it through text after I had already blocked them on all social media platforms. I was honest and direct. I shared how I felt even if I thought it might come across as painful. This was my opportunity to be true to the feelings that until then I had been suppressing. I didn’t say anything cruel, just honest. I began with the initial truth:

“I removed you from my Facebook and Instagram because I didn’t feel like you could handle the responsibility.”

Note that I am not stating facts, just my personal opinion. I went on to share ways that this person had violated my social media space and had made me feel uncomfortable.

“Being connected to you has brought drama into my life that I find unnecessary. Having stories and projections thrown at me distracts me from living my life.”

I then gave an example of a boundary that was important to me and paired it with politeness.

“I don’t want you seeing what events I am attending; go to whatever you want and if I see you there I will show you nothing but kindness.”

It was important for me to end a toxic cycle and this message gave me the strength to block them while knowing that it wouldn’t be a surprise or shock when they couldn’t find my page anymore.

Blocking Someone’s Phone Number

Is the connection you have to someone through text and phone calls causing stress and triggering you? There is nothing wrong with blocking someone’s phone number, and with smart phones it has become as simple as ever to prevent someone from contacting you. With the click of a button you can have the peace of mind that you deserve. There is no rule that says you must let people text or call you, if it makes you uncomfortable then you have every right to create this bold boundary.

If someone is harassing you, sending you threats or dangerous messages, absolutely block their number and perhaps report their activity to the police. If someone is bringing these threats into real life, get a restraining order. Keep community close and call upon your trusted friends or family anytime you need support. Abuse should never be tolerated. If you are in danger, call 911.

Unblocking

I began this post with a quote of me saying “never unblock,” but I don’t think this is true of all situations. I have had huge blowouts with friends that led to us blocking each other’s numbers and ended in ya making up in person and unblocking. If there is room and maturity for working through whatever issues have come up, then unblocking is absolutely a potential.

When I advised my partner to never unblock, that was during a time when they had some deep personal work to do. A couple years later, they actually connected with this person as a means to create closure, although it is important to note that they are still blocked on social media. Working through our relationships to bring them to a place or clarity and understanding seems like the higher road to take whenever possible. When it is safe and you feel completely ready, go ahead and click the unblock button.

Peace and Serenity from Abusive Relationships and Toxic Interactions

For me having a zero bullshit policy is how I protect myself. This means that if I feel that anyone is messing with my energy as a means to trigger me into fight or flight mode, I choose to remove this energy from me.

This looks like unfriending people who troll and belittle my beliefs. Refusing to spend time with people who display habits of hurt, apologize, repeat. These cycles are harmful because they trick us into thinking that the healthy and loving traits that people have overpower the clearly unhealthy behavior that can sometimes be displayed.

If someone hurts me in repitition, even if they are sorry I must make the choice to walk away. If I stay in that position then I will only grow to resent myself and the other person for allowing the hurt to continue. I must empower myself in every moment to see that my inner peace is paramount.

The keener my intuition is, the stricter my no bullshit policy seems to get. More and more times I see how I have allowed energies around me to pull me down. I know my own strength and I must respect my limits. Sometimes the things that trigger me may seem small to someone else, and that is why I know what is best for myself, and you know what is best for you.

Sometimes I am tempted to allow these energies near me because I want to be kind, or because I am attracted to that which is different and seductive. Ultimately I know that everyone is on their perfect path, but this does not mean that I must be close to everyone in every moment. It is okay to take space from people. It does not mean that anyone is wrong or bad, it simply means that we are working on different things.

Doing my best means being aligned with my intuition. Trusting it strengthens my relationship to myself and I feel in harmony with my being. Isn’t this the peace that so many of us are looking for?❤️