On Obligations & Selfishness

I try not to do anything out of obligation. I think that sometimes this can be taken the wrong way, because I see a lot of people doing things out of obligation, so not participating can make one stand out. Most of the time I am okay with this. 

The whole motivation behind staying away from obligatory acts is it holds my time and attention at maximum sacred. My heart, mind and soul want to be fully invested in everything I do, and keeping my needs and desires at top priority is how I achieve satisfaction. 

You see, I believe that we are all complete beings. This means that I trust the ideas that I have to be good, I am confident in my guts voice and intuition, and my self care is what heals me. Believing these to be true sets my vantage point on success. 

Now my values and habits are what make up who I am, and as I mentioned self care is essential to my healing. So when obligations come up that I can choose to abstain from, if I find that choosing what is best for me is sometimes staying away from the crowd. Sometimes the crowd does not like this. (The crowd could be anyone)

To some this may sound very selfish. Good, let’s talk about the S word. Being selfish is not inherently bad. I think that some of us have been taught that if our actions cause someone else’s feelings to be hurt, then we should not do that action. I wager though, aren’t we all responsible for our feelings? If no one is physically hurt, and choosing what is best for YOU hurts someone’s feelings, perhaps we should make ourselves a priority and let them mature into their emotions. 

You see I come from an opposite point of view. In abusive and manipulative relationships I learned that it was better for me to sacrifice my wants and needs for the sake of the other person, because if I can just keep quiet and make their needs a priority then everything will be fine. But NO, I am not fine inside when I suppress my needs. This is where learning to be selfish has changed my life. 

My life is top priority. My needs must be met. I chose to take my life into my own hands even if it hurt the feelings of another. I chose to say no to obligations because that obligation would cause me enormous stress. Even if the crowd doesn’t understand, that’s okay. I know what is best for me. ❤

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