This past weekend I visited a spiritual gathering, a church of sorts. I attended as an observer, knowing that it would trigger a defensive response in me from a life of being raised in a religious cult.

There were many things said and done of which I disagreed with, one being very particular. A gentleman stood in front of the group and shared a story of going to a healer and having the healer pray for his friend through him. This man shared that he knew his friend had his issues with prayer and so he tentatively shared with him after the fact that he had channeled prayer on his behalf.

Praying for someone calls for consent. Now I can’t judge anyone for not knowing about spiritual consent, this is something that must be learned. For many people including myself we were taught that we should pray for everyone. I now know that this is not true. Prayer is powerful, and should be used within the limits of non-interference.

Non-interference is a spiritual law of sorts which speaks to respecting the boundaries of others. By holding space for others to live their lives without trying to control or manipulate how they live we are creating harmony. Everyone deserves to live from a place of free will, and it is each of our jobs to trust that they will experience everything in perfect timing. To read more about what non-interference read this post by DailyOM.

When sending spiritual energy towards others — such as prayer, energy healing or psychic reading — it is important to have their explicit consent. Do not send them energy, even if it is coming from a place of love, without asking them and having them give you a clear yes. If the person is unable to give verbal consent such as being in a coma or being a baby, then clear your energy of personal agendas and ask spirit for consent. If your ego is attached to the outcome, it would be best to abstain from praying for anyone other than yourself.

It is important to understand the equal exchange of giving and receiving: give and receive in balance. Having consent in your giving allows the receiver to send back to you their gratitude, free from shame. When the receiver is given opportunity to show gratitude to the giver, the giver is fed. This completes the cycle of giving and receiving and all are benefited.

Many thanks to my friend and teacher Pierre Dubois for passing on much of this knowledge to me.