I think about other people a lot. Especially those closest to me. I think it is natural that we have collectively learned that wanting to support our loved ones comes from a caring place.

I dug beneath my personal desires to help and have found a similar pattern.

In seeking to connect with someone else I am ultimately looking to fill a desire or need inside of myself. Knowing this, I now ask myself:

“Do I believe that the person I want to help is fully capable of taking care of themselves?

Do I believe that the person I want to help will ask me if they need or want anything from me?”

I believe that I can almost always answer yes to these questions. I believe that everyone has everything they need even if one of their needs is to speak up and ask for help. When someone asks for help the person being asked then has the option to say yes or no. If they say yes then an open flow of giving and receiving has been in initiated.

The more that I focus on myself the more my world seems to blossom, both my inner world and my outer world. When I attune my energy to myself and not to others I find it easier to meet my own needs, and my desires to feel fulfilled by others versus actual needs for support hold greater distinction.

If you would like to join me in turning the questions inward, let’s see how it feels to focus on ourselves:

“Do I believe that I am fully capable of taking care of myself?

Do I believe that I will ask for help if I need or want anything?”

Personally my answer to both questions is YES!

If your answer is less certain, that is okay! Think about these questions as you go throughout your day and focus on where you are giving your power. Is it to someone else, or is it grounded inside of yourself?

To get myself feeling more in my personal power I like to move my body through dancing or singing, and expressing myself through writing or talking.

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